The Stupidity of Boys
by HedwigBlack
Summary: "The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you." - Markus Zusak./ Lily doesn't want to admit that James gets under her skin. But he does./ For Liza


_This is for Liza who is wonderful and hopefully will not hate me for this being so incredibly late! But it's **JILY **which I thought would **never** happen. So here it is, love! :D_

_Also thanks to Allie's Diagon Alley Fic Crawl because she gave me this wonderful prompt: "The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you." - The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. (That book should be required reading for everyone. EVERYONE) _

_Ahem...Read on. _

* * *

They are first years when James Potter develops a 'typical' boyhood crush on Lily Evans. And like all eleven year olds do, he teases her relentlessly. Dungbombs find their way into her bag, paper airplanes bearing rude messages hit the back of her head during History of Magic, and no amount of pouting from Lily can convince him to refrain from commenting on her red hair.

She tries to not pay him too much mind. Besides, she has a friend in Sev and at least _he_ is proof that not _all_ boys are cruel.

It's the mistake that all girls make. They don't want to believe that someone who cares could ever treat them badly. They want to continue to believe in fairy tales and that princes should be charming. And, really, who could blame them?

And the day she receives a detention for making a crude hand gesture in his direction, is the day she decides that there is nothing worse than a boy who hates you.

But what Lily doesn't realize right away is that James Potter doesn't hate her. Not at all.

And nothing about him or what he feels for her could _ever_ be considered typical.

* * *

They are third years and the paper airplanes no longer contain insults. Instead Lily is bombarded with awkwardly worded terms of endearment. Poetry is not his strong suit. And he can only come up with so many nicknames involving flowers.

She unfolds the most recent note in the middle of Potions.

_Your hair is red _

_Your eyes are green_

_Go to Hogsmeade with me_

_Don't be mean_

She rolls her eyes and crumples up the airplane, tossing it back at his face when the professor's back is turned. Marlene snickers in the seat next to her but Lily is determined not to show that she cares. She stares resolutely at the front of the classroom.

Once again, she hears the _whoosh_ of paper in her ear as it makes contact with the side of her face. She allows it to fall to the ground and makes no effort to pick it up. Marlene takes it upon herself to do that.

And a very red-faced Lily stomps out of the Potions classroom to her dorm, convinced that if there is one thing worse than a boy who hates you, it is a boy who loves you.

But James just can't help himself. He's been taught to appreciate beautiful things, and he is but a child still. He has not learned that girls are not meant to be put up on pedestals and that Lily is not a girl to be won over so easily.

* * *

They are fifth years and Lily is feeling claustrophobic in the crowded Quidditch stands. The Gryffindor versus Slytherin match has been going on for hours now. And as much as she hates herself for it, she's not even looking for the Golden Snitch nor is she keeping track of the score.

She finds herself following the path of one particular Chaser who is not much more than a red blur but she knows it's him. His parents bought him the newest racing broom over the summer, and the rest of the players can't keep up. She wants to join in and cheer when he scores a goal, but there is a part of her who is still bitter.

She carries a letter in her pocket instead of a crumpled up paper airplane. It doesn't contain any insults or pathetic attempts at poetry, but a half-hearted apology is just as bad. She suddenly isn't in the mood for Quidditch so she resolves to sneak away while Marlene and Alice aren't looking. And as she turns to make her way out of the stands, she sees Severus sitting on the other side of the pitch, alone, which only makes her want to scream.

But she refrains and somehow makes it out of the arena without anyone following her. She muses on the stupidity of boys as she marches back up to the castle. Because if there is anything worse than a boy who hates you or a boy who loves you, it is having one of each.

* * *

They are seventh years, and he is wearing a shiny Head Boy badge that he doesn't deserve. He knows it just as well as she does, but he just shrugs his shoulders and grins before walking away. And she's horrified to find that she wants to find fault with him. She looks for evidence of that arrogant toerag who can get under her skin like no one else. She wants him to be that conceited James Potter who she will never, ever, go out with.

But all she finds is a boy who calls her by her name, and who looks her dead in the eye instead of staring elsewhere. He's a boy who doesn't ask her to Hogsmeade anymore, but still offers to buy her a Butterbeer. And he doesn't seem offended when she stubbornly tells him no. She waits for paper airplanes or letters that never appear. And she wants to be something, _anything_, but disappointed.

But she can't.

Because if there is anything worse than a boy you hate, it is realizing you don't hate him at all.


End file.
